We’d asked you, dear readers, to tell us how you prepared yourself to become a father and share tips for dad-to-be Virat Kohli.
Pritesh Dave from Mumbai shares his experience and offers advice:
I work as a consultant with an international firm and my job involves frequent travel within and outside the country.
When my wife announced that we were pregnant with our first child, to be frank, I was not prepared at all.
I was 29. We were married for barely 3 months and I didn’t want to be the one telling her that I am not ready to be a parent.
I casually asked my wife if she was ready to take on this responsibility.
She was too excited and was already discussing the theme for her baby shower, suggesting baby names and all that. So, I went with her decision.
Every time we visited the hospital for routine check up, I thought about our financial situation and how I need to work extra hard so I could make everything comfortable for our child.
I wanted to give my wife and child the best healthcare and facilities at home.
In three months, I took up a new job and informed my employer that I am expecting to be a father so I’d need a flexi work environment in case my wife or child needed me.
We moved from a 1BHK to a 2BHK. We hired a full time house help and requested our parents to take turns to visit us so they can be a part of our journey into parenthood.
From the time we announced our pregnancy to the time our son Krish was born in 2018, it has been an exciting ride full of ups and downs.
We learned and unlearned everything from scratch.
Here are some tips I’d like to share:
1. Be extremely patient and forgiving
During and after pregnancy, both husband and wife, have to be extremely forgiving and understand each other well.
Be prepared for mood swings, temper tantrums and lots of ups and downs during this period.
You may have to apologise too often. But do it.
2. Take turns to parent
Between husband and wife both have to take turns to co-parent.
Don’t be ashamed to cook, clean, baby sit, change diapers, give a bath, feed the baby…basically, you have to take turns to do everything as a team.
If one person does the same thing every day, it will only add to stress.
Volunteer to divide responsibilities between the two of you.
3. Take lots of pictures
Your baby will grow up too soon. Do click lots of pictures, shoot videos and store them away safely.
When you look back, these memories will always bring a smile on your face.
4. Don’t stress your parents
Parenting can be extremely tiring not just for parents, also for grandparents.
Sometimes they are so overwhelmed with their grandchildren that they tend to overdo everything and may end up falling ill.
If you don’t want to be guilty of this, it is best to hire a help or full time nanny, especially if both of you are working and will be away from home for long.
My advice is: Don’t stress your parents too much.
Dads, tell us what those few days before your child was born was like?
What were the special things you did for your wife?
How did you get ready for the newest member of your family?
Do share your stories about the birth of your children.
Did you go on paternity leave?
What were your most memorable moments? And your most difficult?
What are the sacrifices you have made?
What is the one fatherhood lesson you have learnt that you would like to share?
Do you have tips for Virat Kohli? Share your experience with us.
Write in to [email protected] (Subject: Dad tips). Do mention your name, age, the place where you live and the year your child was born.
Please do share pictures of you with your baby.
And, till we beat the Coronavirus, stay safe. Wash your hands. Wear your mask. Maintain social distancing.
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